Hey, I said to myself. Why not drop the organization for a moment, why not give up trying to write something that somebody may want to read. After all this blog exists for one reason and one reason only.
It is my soap box.
You know, I've been accused of being a decent writer. It's true, people have said it. I've always secretly held that belief myself, that my, in many ways unique, perspective on the world combined with modicum of talent with the English language combine in a way that is somehow good.
But what does that mean? There's no cash prize, no career path. No interview to attend or cv to update, it's merely just the case. And I suppose that's the hard part of being better than utterly hopeless at something, it's intimidating. Sitting there in my living room playing games on my XBOX feels like a waste of something. Something I don't really understand.
It's just something I do every weekend now. Or try to do. That's all it is and whether I ever have a chance to do it professionally or not that's all it will ever really be. There is no quota of words or benchmark to meet, just what I do.
I find that hard to accept somehow. I seek structure in something that's inherently structureless. I have what I have and anything beyond that is a matter of chance.