It's approaching now, that feeling that comes every so often. That unfounded, irrational sensation that great things lie ahead. That next year will put all others into the shade.
And why shouldn't it, I'm building on something I know works. It might not be shiny right now, it might be in no way complete but there is something about the ground on which I now stand. Something about all that had decayed and washed away from it before, what remains has stood the test of time.
And those are words and words are what I'm swearing off. I'll build no more pictures, no empty hallucinations of meaning, I have no more time for them. I love to tell myself how far I've come, how my mere survival is something to be proud of. Of course age has taught me how shallow all of that is. It is not enough to merely be, it is not enough to merely want.
For me, 2012 will be a year of purpose. Where I discard words, mirrors and speeches for some form of action. It will not be an overnight thing but I will aim to exercise my executive will in whatever way I can. I will find purpose in the things I do.
What's more, I will record it here. To the future.
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