Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Desert

And that's where I am now. My life is the desert, an infinitely vast cloud of dust and empty space. I don't know a way out, I'm not fully sure how I got here.

Was it some failing on my part, did I make the trees die? Have I not really moved and I am where I was before, its nature simply changed. Its nature merely decayed. They teach us in school that's how deserts start, over use, greed. Am I surrounded by nothingness formed by my own hand, did I do something wrong?

There is something to be said though, the calmness I feel now. The emptiness, this open space has no expectations, I have nothing forced on me. I form to my own expectations now, or at least am moved to wonder what exactly they are. Give a man a direction and he will march in it, whether it serves him or not. Deprive a man of any direction and then he must think, truly. Who is he?

So who am I? Hasn't that been the question this whole time, from the very beginning. From that moment I had a something click in my mind, from that moment my desires extended beyond my immediate survival. It's the question that hasn't been answered, even after so much marching.

Where there is emptiness, there is hope. My life is like a desert but that is only for now. There is the ability to contain, there is the ability to nurture. There is something unmoving beneath the sand.

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