Year of Trying

Been out on my ass for two months now.  That's kind of hard for me to believe, two months out of an entire year spent with no real income to speak of.  Two months where I didn't go anywhere five days a week to crank code and kick ass.

I haven't been without work for so long for about four years and it feels weird.  My feeling of weirdness is compounded by the fact I'm being dragged into some kind of mandatory presentation by the welfare office on the range of training opportunities available.

I've been doing lots of interviews and all have gone well, everything is just moving like molasses and now I need to be patronised by a service I've funded through PRSI contributions over the last six years.  I'm a little peeved by that.

My time has not been spent faffing about though, I'm glad to say.  A lot of progress has been made on my new book which has recently acquired the working title "Moderately Delerious" and I've even made huge progress on a new project that's also enhanced my tech skills somewhat.

I've also found some time to look into the ideas of lucid dreaming and meditation.  Can't really do either consistently yet but it's been great to have some time to play with the exercises and research that these things require.

One major issue has been that I've found it really difficult to find a rhythm and despite my best efforts have found myself having trouble sleeping and waking up at specific times.  The rigour of work definitely helps when it comes to setting up a routine.    This is probably more a factor of my personality, consistency has never been one of my strong points.

Also, I'm 28 today and of course that triggers a lot of retrospect for me.  Looking back on the things I've done and didn't do, the same old bag.  You'd think my current situation would factor into that a lot but it turns out it doesn't, unemployment is part of the same chain as employment.  The same course, it's no better or worse metaphysically speaking.

28 is a big number, I started this blog when I was 22 and it is kind of terrifying looking back.  It's been six years of gradual improvement, mind widening and change.  I suppose that's the nature of the 20's, kicked out of the protections of adolescence you gotta face up to who you are.  The sooner you do that, the easier the whole thing is.

Well, here's to another year of trying.