Chocolate, is massive. Not just among
the kids either, grown men and women often have a sweet tooth. I
myself have often looked longingly in the window of the local
confectionery shop, wishing that Spar would give up their Germanic
insistence on fiat currency and accept barter but it will never be, I
accept that now and feel no compulsion to hound their manager Xu Lei
any longer.
For, what is chocolate, if one breaks
it down into its composites. I've never partaken myself but if I am
to believe the testimony of some more successful shoppers it's sweet,
full of the most delicious chemicals and, I quote, “will go
straight to my thighs”. It was with this knowledge that I fell
away from Spar for what would be the last time and resolved to lift
the ladle of chocolatiering for myself.
I started with the basics, my finest
sweet potato. After all, they make chocolate covered apples and all
I had, as usual, were potatoes. I then resolved to enhance its
sweetness even further by applying a sachet of brown sugar I had
sequestered on my person during my last business meeting at the local
coffee shop. For the all important chemical component I squeezed out
the last of my tube of toothpaste.
As I mushed the composites together, I
was taken with a strange mirth and laughed into my concoction gently.
I thought at once of a chocolate empire that would span the globe.
The swiss would want me, I thought, they will want my recipe. The
chocolate was ready, I stopped stirring and looked into the smooth
white speckled with the brown sugar and here and there the triple
stripe freshness of the mint infusion could be seen. I dipped a
finger into this, the freshest of chocolate and drew it out again.
Placing it into my mouth I felt
instantly changed. The flavor opened up a spark of knowledge which
had lain dormant in my soul for what may have been an eternity, a
candle which had remained unlit since the dawn of humanity, the dawn
of the very notion of chocolate itself.
It was that day, dear readers. That I
realized I don't actually care for chocolate all that much at all.
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