Monday, April 9, 2012
Arby Quinn and Co.
“Quinn. Get over here.”
“You're Quinn.” Arby laughed at his cousin's confusion of his name with his own.
“Yeah, but you are too.”
“You've got me there.” Arby pulled himself to his feet and walked over to his cousin's desk, obscured from view by a scattered pile of wordy resumes. “What is it?”
“Look at these, you know who these are?”
“They'd be printed sheets of paper Richy. Surely what they are would be a more appropriate question.” Arby selected one at random and held it at optimal reading distance. “Three years of acting school in Dun Laoghrie. That seems like an awful long time.”
“Yeah, any of these lads would act us under the table. They'd click their fingers and suddenly we'd be in the presence of, well, not them, somebody else. Somebody else entirely.”
“Sounds a little spooky.”
Richard Quinn took the resume from Arby's hand and looked down on it solemnly. “It is a little, I'll give you that.”
“Sean the scorpion used to be an actor. He told me that once.”
“He did! And how did he find it?” Richard let the resume flop back down flat on the table amongst its brethren.
“In his words, there was a lot of waiting around. He met Brendan Gleeson once though.”
“Really!” Richard almost leapt up from his chair in excitement.
“Well, somebody who looked a bit like him. What's got you so excited about actors Richy?”
“Arby, we're now a talent agency. We represent those who were born with a destiny which lies on the stage or possibly in straight to TV film. I downloaded these resumes off of the internet and now you're going to help me pick out the ones who have a chance at the big time.”
“Then what?” Arby wondered where he left his reading glasses, he was certainly going to need him for the veritable gauntlet of reading that lay ahead of him. Richard was digging through the pile of resumes, ignoring Arby's question. “Richy, then what?”
Richard had found what he had been looking for, it was a CV with a massive star drawn on it with yellow marker. “Then, once we've found another individual of this calibre we start to schmooze like there is no tomorrow. Look.” Richard held out the CV to Arby who took it gingerly.
Arby began flicking through it not really knowing what to look for. “Jasus, this is, truly amazing. His name is Sean, like my erstwhile acquaintance.”
“And unlike your friend Sean, this guy has actually met Brendan Glieson.”
“Oh my god.”
“And once I've met him, I too will have met Brendan Glieson, vicariously.”
“That's right. He has his number on it, I'm going to call him now. Watch and learn.”
Richard sat back in his chair and pulled his phone to the surface of the pile of paper on the desk. Seizing the receiver he bashed in the number confidently and there was silence.
Arby realized that his legs were getting so very tired from all of the standing Richard had him doing. “Richy, can I sit...” He was silenced when Richy lifted a finger to his lips. The phone had been answered.
Richard started bellowing into the phone. “Sean! Hey, how's it going. You don't know me, my name is Richard Quinn. I'm calling from the... Yeah, I am related to an Arby Quinn. He owes you what?” Richard made disapproving eye contact with his cousin. Arby just shook his head, he didn't feel like parlance with his old acquaintance at that juncture. “Well, I'll tell him if I see him.” Richard slammed down the phone as if to destroy a wasp. “He says you owe him a brace of roosters, whatever that means.”
Arby shrugged, he didn't know what that meant either.
Richard shook his head. “He obviously lied on his CV, so it was a bad example. But imagine, if you can, if that had gone really well.”
“Now imagine if I had then made over a thousand Euro from the following television deal with the RTE.”
Arby did as ordered. “You're a genius.”
“I know I am, now get reading. Remember, two years acting school minimum. We don't want our name to become associated with lack of qualification.”
“Surely not Richy, I'll get right on that.”