Sunday, September 4, 2011
Arby Quinn - The Dickhead Dinos
It all began a few weeks ago, dear reader. I was minding my own business, getting a drink of water down by the stream when the strangest creature emerged from behind some bushes. It was bulky and greenish blue, what could have been feathers flecked the sides of its body but it didn't have wings. I believe it was a dinosaur.
I stood motionless as it walked calmly towards me, as if I was the hallucination. He trotted right up to me, close enough that I could have touched him if I had chosen to and started eating the potatoes I had brought with me to wash in the stream. In shock I watched as this unreal creature devoured my lunch as if he had just paid me for it, as if it was his right.
He did one last thing before he left, and in all honesty it is the one action that haunted me most. He craned his flat and beaked head until we had eye contact and winked at me. The bastard winked at me. He then trotted off, slightly faster than he had arrived. I wanted to throw something at it, shout, something, but I didn't.
The danger is clear to me now reader, the danger is these Dickhead Dinos. They are coming to take everything we have as if it was rightfully theirs. For now I will try to learn more and take better care of my potatoes but I will not let them walk over me, not a second time.