Negatory Honcho

I'm just home from Airsoft, bleeding, sore and slightly philosophical.

It was my birthday yesterday and I really hate them though I suppose it also prompted some thought. Birthdays for me are a time where I am forced to ponder the direction of my life by the tick or clunk of the clock that is tied to my time on this earth. As I go from twenty-four to twenty-five what have I accomplished and exactly where am I going.

So here are my accomplishments I have made during my last year on this earth:

Got a nice job.

Got a nice promotion at that job.

Stuck with a workout regime and lost weight as a result.

Came third in East Irish Open Fencing Competition.

So I'm happy with that, I really am. (I'm really not.)

But looking at that I think I see a problem, it is all work related or fitness related. That is what leaves me now feeling a little empty, a little mindful of what it is I am really out to achieve.

I constantly think past to the things that kept me afloat in that regard and it was usually people. Special people that won't be replaced. So it will have to be something else, maybe I'll try to get back into the violin.

Strangely I am thinking of Ubik now by PKD. Thinking of that woman who could change time retroactively. That book really freaked the hell out of me. Onwards to twenty-five.

There is a lot of work left to do.