Saturday, March 19, 2011

Back on Track

Well, I turned the promotion down at work.  It's a bit unpleasant but it was ultimately a decision that I had to make.  The job wasn't right for me.

And it's funny, after the initial disappointment with what occurred a great relief came to me.  More than that, it was a reaffirmation, a sense of freedom.

I was writing today and yesterday, for the first time in a long time.  For the first time since I started my job, it felt good.  I see now, my expectations were wrong.  I thought a title would fulfill me, I thought the job could fill my life but no.  I see now clearly that it won't.

No, there is more to play for than that.  Much more.  I was reading back through Tower, through my work and I realize that while it isn't perfect it has a heart and it is improving.  It's a story that held my interest even though I knew what would happen.

So I don't know, in a way I might feel a little cornered but ultimately I just feel like I know where I am now.  I'm at the beginning.  Like at training I've got to just do my best to keep up but each time I push myself I get stronger, I get faster.

And that growth will take me where I want to go.  Step by step.

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