Well, I turned the promotion down at work. It's a bit unpleasant but it was ultimately a decision that I had to make. The job wasn't right for me.
And it's funny, after the initial disappointment with what occurred a great relief came to me. More than that, it was a reaffirmation, a sense of freedom.
I was writing today and yesterday, for the first time in a long time. For the first time since I started my job, it felt good. I see now, my expectations were wrong. I thought a title would fulfill me, I thought the job could fill my life but no. I see now clearly that it won't.
No, there is more to play for than that. Much more. I was reading back through Tower, through my work and I realize that while it isn't perfect it has a heart and it is improving. It's a story that held my interest even though I knew what would happen.
So I don't know, in a way I might feel a little cornered but ultimately I just feel like I know where I am now. I'm at the beginning. Like at training I've got to just do my best to keep up but each time I push myself I get stronger, I get faster.
And that growth will take me where I want to go. Step by step.
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