Fire Walk With Me

Watched the Twin Peaks prequel, Fire Walk With Me last night.  Really glad I didn't see it before watching Twin Peaks as it would have completely ruined one of the major plot points but it fit nicely into Twin Peaks itself.

As David Lynch films go it wouldn't be my favourites but it was good to see all the characters again, before things got really weird and it had some nice moments.  Like that thing with the surveillance camera.

It's a little strange writing on here after so long, it hardly feels the same at all.  Sadly I don't have much of a story to share from what happened because that is all depressingly private but I can tell you that I had the experience of the past repeating itself but not being quite the same.  In fact, that past repeated itself and was decidedly better.

Recently I've been to Canada three times, Hong Kong once, I've made close friends from different corners of the earth.  I've felt exhausted, vilified and chosen.  Heartbroken and rejuvenated.  I've moved to an amazing apartment.  I've become addicted to nicotine and dipped my toes into the waters of alcoholism.  I've drawn it all back behind my eyes so well that I've forgotten who I ever was.

Things have been good.  Feel kind of like a man that finally pulls his trousers up after a decade of waddling and wondering why everyone else was move so much faster than him.  But the only certain thing now is that I'm going to have to do it all over again.

Orwell!

For some reason I've never read any Orwell up to now.  I suppose part of the reason is all the film versions of Animal Farm I've seen and the way that 1984 has infiltrated so many forms of media, I felt like I'd been overexposed to both without ever even turning a single page.

So it was one of his lesser known works, a book called Down and Out in Paris and London that get me to finally try one of his works.  Down and Out, bizarrely, reminded me a lot of Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmares.  The obvious comparison is when Orwell details the military style hierarchy of a large hotel's kitchen staff, the less obvious one is the morality of his work.  He details events but then he gives an opinion on them and what human and interesting opinions he has, reminding me of when Gordon goes beyond being an observer and calls people on their bullshit.

After enjoying Down and Out so much it made sense to dive into 1984, something about the gritty reality Orwell clearly experienced in his life gave me faith that there would be an authenticity to 1984 that I hadn't previously had cause to expect.  I was not disappointed, 1984 is beautiful, a work of art and felt to real to me.  It's funny because it's been aped constantly for decades but even having been exposed to countless facsimiles the power of the original article had remained untouched, perhaps it was even enhanced.

1984 got me thinking a lot, about my own politics and thought patterns.  I suppose the point is there is a little authoritarian apologist in us all but more than that it underlined something that I've really been taking for granted lately.  The power to have my own thoughts, my own mind and my own life.

Next on my list is coming up for air!

Delivery Systems for Talent

I've recently been getting into a bit of a Matter Berry Overload.  It started by my discovery of his latest album Kill the Wolf which I legitimately think is amazing.  Opium was good but felt more like a comedy album and Witchhazel had some excellent moments but was a little inconsistent but Kill the Wold is a world beater and I've listened to it a little a too much lately.  Devil Inside Me, Solstice, so many great tracks and that of course brought me back onto Snuff Box, a show I hadn't watched in a long time so was due another run through.

Snuff Box is so front loaded, the first episode hits you with wave upon wave of energy and originality making those thirty minutes feel like a sort of mini film.  It then hits a cool stride, building on the framework laid down and following an absurd plot where Matt Berry proceeds to steal all of Fulcher's numerous and glamorous girlfriends.

It's got me thinking though, about the written word.  That an article I read during the week that espoused the opinion that had many literary journals had a way to determine if people were actually reading them most would not have continued to be published.  These markets might have just existed in wealthy benefactors heads and there was no way at the time to prove them right or wrong.  Sure, people bought them but maybe they read one or two articles threw the rest away.  I'm not sure what the scenario is, the point is.  I'd like to be a writer, I'd like to get people reading my stuff, how do I make that happen.

The track the fits best still in my mind is novels because while its extremely difficult to become published if I did somehow achieve that goal it would open a longer term path.  Success with short stories and message boards, even if I did somehow achieve it probably wouldn't lead anywhere significant.

But there are of course other forms of writing.  Screen Plays are very popular of course maybe even more so than novels, Text Adventure games can actually get some following though very limited of course.  Radio Plays, that's something that my mind wandered onto yesterday.  In a time of podcasts and such is there room for a radio play.  I can do some pretty pretty amusing voices, all I'd need would be some software and soft effects.  What about, a kindle enabled text adventure.  That's a new one I've just had now.

In any case my point is that Matt Berry is a magnificent bastard.  His (albeit significant) talents lie in Comedy and Music, two premier Delivery Systems of our time.  And there is a very valid question, when is the last time that the written word thrilled me.  When is the last time the written word did something, anything at all for me.

My last major thrill?  The closing sentence of the Great Gatsby.  A book written by a man born one hundred and ten years before I was.  What am I even reading right now?  I'll tell you, Legion of the Damned by Sven Hassel.  Published 1953.

Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle

I recently reread an old text on weight loss titled Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.  It's something I hadn't read in most of a decade so it was almost like reading it again for the first time. The material has this nice way of having a great deal of depth while still being extremely accessible to people like myself.

Eight or so years ago it was one among a number of training resources that I read through in search of the answer to having a better body. I based my weight training at the time, aiming characteristically a little too high, on the westside program but it was the principles in BTFFTM that I was counting on for weight loss. It had contained inside of it that dream of all lazy people, burning loads of calories while sitting inert on a couch.  Lots of fun weight lifting and less boring cardio.

All that time ago I merely glanced through it but this time I read it in depth both jogging my memory and learning some new things entirely. For example, I somehow missed the section of fats last time and realised suddenly that I'm completely missing them from my vegetarian diet in anything but saturated form. That's the issue with a vegetarian diet, we don't get to turn to fish and automatically get loaded up in omega-3. So I grabbed a bottle of flaxseed oil.

Quick note on the flaxseed oil, I genuinely feel it's had a positive effect on my mood. It wasn't listed in BTFFTM as a benefit so I went looking elsewhere and yes, it does seem like lack of omega-3 can be a cause of depression, who knew!  I'll definitely keep taking my tablespoon of it every morning.

Ultimately BTFFTM does enter a realm of extreme workouts and very complicated meal design but the principles and excellent way they're described and backed up makes it recommended reading for anybody interested in their health in any way.  

Android Horror Stories

Right so I got around to “fixing” my phone. It had been freezing and restarting itself constantly so after a bit of research the obvious solution seemed to be to flash it with a more recent firmware and it would obviously work perfectly from there. Well, the result was that though the flash worked perfectly and everything seemed super fine I ended up with a warped IMEI number. This basically means that the phone can no longer connect to any network because it's got a bollocks identification number. Changing IMEI is a complete pain because it's technically an illegal act. I'd need some kind of custom hardware to do it, it seems.

Worst thing was that there is a method of setting the IMEI but I only discovered half way through it only works for the US version of the S3 as the International version doesn't seem to support RMNET + DM + MODEM USB mode.  Agony.

All in all, I might as well have dumped my phone in the liffey. It's pretty much borked now. Still, the positives are that I learned a lot about how android phones work and I had yet another lesson in backing up everything. (Not just with zip tools either, because they often lie.)  A tip for everybody out there, do not do anything with your EFS folder lightly, it's not restored when flashing.

Anyway, I can pick up a cheap samsung phone from argos until such time comes that I can either buy a new smart phone or have the IMEI corrected. Pity, because otherwise my flashing it seems to have corrected all the problems I was experiencing. Biggest thing I'll miss is definitely the tethering mode which was really handy when working in coffee shops that didn't have wifi. 

Pity I screwed the pooch but again it's yet another lesson that you shouldn't rush into things without due diligence.  

Working on the Rail Road

Ever feel like you're being guided into something.  It's not quite against your will but it's like your will is absent and you've been given this single direction to go in.  It seems like the only choices are to stay still or move in a direction that's being offered to you.

It's not much of a choice, especially when you know that once you start down that track there won't be any stopping for quite a while.  It's the question of what is real freedom, how much choice is allowed to us in our lives.

I watched Into the Wild last night, a film about a guy who went out on his own.  He basically lives like a bum in the film and has lots of great adventures and makes lots of really deep connections with people.  As usual these days I had trouble simplifying the film into a single point but what I took away from it was that running isn't really an option.  Well, it is an option but in the end it just takes us away from what's really important.

The character in the story ends up alone and though when he's strong he's happy, finding that he could survive the wilds gives him a rush I suppose.  Things go sour on the food front and then things get worse from there.  Maybe he realises somewhere that there isn't too much for him in the wilderness alone and like any passion taken too far he locked himself away from everybody around him.

I guess, he could have returned after that realisation and been a different person.  Maybe he could have listened to anybody along the way who offered him advice but I guess there is a sense to film that he wasn't really looking for anything out in the wilds but to escape himself and who he was.

How does all that relate to being rail roaded?  Well, I guess my current thinking is that we all need a track but you might be best off playing the game and building your own over time rather than walking the rough road.

Year of Trying

Been out on my ass for two months now.  That's kind of hard for me to believe, two months out of an entire year spent with no real income to speak of.  Two months where I didn't go anywhere five days a week to crank code and kick ass.

I haven't been without work for so long for about four years and it feels weird.  My feeling of weirdness is compounded by the fact I'm being dragged into some kind of mandatory presentation by the welfare office on the range of training opportunities available.

I've been doing lots of interviews and all have gone well, everything is just moving like molasses and now I need to be patronised by a service I've funded through PRSI contributions over the last six years.  I'm a little peeved by that.

My time has not been spent faffing about though, I'm glad to say.  A lot of progress has been made on my new book which has recently acquired the working title "Moderately Delerious" and I've even made huge progress on a new project that's also enhanced my tech skills somewhat.

I've also found some time to look into the ideas of lucid dreaming and meditation.  Can't really do either consistently yet but it's been great to have some time to play with the exercises and research that these things require.

One major issue has been that I've found it really difficult to find a rhythm and despite my best efforts have found myself having trouble sleeping and waking up at specific times.  The rigour of work definitely helps when it comes to setting up a routine.    This is probably more a factor of my personality, consistency has never been one of my strong points.

Also, I'm 28 today and of course that triggers a lot of retrospect for me.  Looking back on the things I've done and didn't do, the same old bag.  You'd think my current situation would factor into that a lot but it turns out it doesn't, unemployment is part of the same chain as employment.  The same course, it's no better or worse metaphysically speaking.

28 is a big number, I started this blog when I was 22 and it is kind of terrifying looking back.  It's been six years of gradual improvement, mind widening and change.  I suppose that's the nature of the 20's, kicked out of the protections of adolescence you gotta face up to who you are.  The sooner you do that, the easier the whole thing is.

Well, here's to another year of trying.