Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Another day

Well, yesterday I got the great idea to email as many agents as possible with my patented "publishing pack." There's an easy way to push probability further into my favour, no overhead for emails.

So many publishers and agents even demand that you post them your submission however. Including a holy S.A.E. blessed by your local priest and bound by glue harvested from your families glue mine in the provinces. Why do I consider these S.A.E.s so holy?

I can't make them! There is no easy way to obtain foreign postage here. I've tried a few american websites etc. but they are all designed for internal use, or solely for packages.

Now, to aid my beloved correspondents in their replying by pre printed rejection slips I was able to obtain some English stamps while in Birmingham recently. That was handy, but I'm already all out. This war effort consumes resources as fast as I can make them available!

Anyway, let's get to the point. Why oh why doesen't everywhere accept email? What is with this antiquated predisposement towards the "printed" word. (Don't they own printers?)

In fact, yes. Think of the environment, with email you can read something, get a feel for whether you like it or not and then maybe print it. This way no paper is wasted! You could save millions of trees, preserve the entire human race for another few halcyon years. Enough time for somebody to fall in love, invent a new form of power, publish their book even.

Final point. Let's get onto the reason I know they won't consider this. It's because of all the crap in their inbox isn't it. It's all these happy go lucky guppy faced rubbish faucets that are hounding them night and day with their half baked work. You see, printing something off, mailing it, that requires two things. Time commitment. And leaving the house. These are two things that I know this particular demographic abhor.

Think of the trees you guys, knock it off. Leave those inboxs fresh and roomy for more deserving morsels. Even the mona lisa loses it's grandeur if it's on display in a chemical dump.


  1. Its because submissions gets detected as spam by the anti spam software due to the similarities.

  2. I said nothing you stupid automated blog!